How Do You Cope With The Post-Sex Blues?

Sex feels great. We love having it and we will try to make time for it. However, there are moments when we find ourselves wallowing once the act is over. We find ourselves deep in the post-sex blues with absolutely no end in sight.

sexual abuse. sad shy timid scared girl covering her breast with hands sitting in bedroom wearing lingerie

It sucks, and what makes it worse is that we don’t always know how to get out of them. Here on the Escort Ireland blog, I talk about the post-sex blues, what can cause them, and how you can cope with them.

What are the post-sex blues?

The medical term for the post-sex blues is postcoital dysphoria, and it is sometimes shortened to PCD. It is often described as a feeling of deep sadness or even agitation following sex. It doesn’t necessarily come from having an orgasm, though for some people it does.

It can happen to anyone, even to those who have had satisfying and enjoyable sex. Yes, you can be having the time of your life in the bedroom and suddenly find that you feel low and sad when it is all over.

How people react to it varies from person to person. Some feel tearful. Others might become angry and hostile towards their partner. Many find that they simply close in on themselves and that they need their own space for a little while.

The post-sex blues can suck
Original source: Tumblr

What causes it?

This is the tricky part about PCD. There isn’t exactly a known cause. It isn’t like there is one thing that happens during sex that means you’ll feel low and sad afterwards. Often, it can be difficult to discern what has actually made you feel this way.

In some cases, it can simply be that they didn’t get to orgasm. Others might be regretting having sex. Some may wonder why having sex didn’t fix their mood. There might not even be a trigger. You have sex, have fun, and still feel a bit shit afterwards.

There have been plenty of studies throughout the years to look at why it happens, but one thing is certain: experts haven’t got a clue. They have a few ideas about why it might happen, but they know that it isn’t linked to intimacy. So I can’t tell you to avoid certain things if you want to avoid the post-sex blues.

We still don't know what causes PCD
Original source: Tumblr

What it is like having PCD

What is particularly tricky about it is that not knowing the cause makes it difficult to come up with coping strategies for it. Even if there was something that worked for a certain cause, there would be no guarantee that it would work for everyone. You likely already know what I’m going to say here, but you have to find your own coping strategies.

I’ve had PCD before. It honestly came out of nowhere, after an absolutely amazing fuck. I was satisfied with sex, I’d had plenty of orgasms, and still I felt down. It really knocked me for six because I had no idea what was going on.

I thought it might have been a one off, but then it happened again a few months later. It isn’t a great feeling, and what made it worse was that I couldn’t properly explain to my partner what was going on. “Hey babe. The sex was great, but now I feel like shit” isn’t exactly a good conversation starter.

It can be hard to figure out what is wrong
Original source: Gfycat

Coping with PCD

As I’ve said earlier, you are going to have to find your own ways of coping with it. If you are really concerned about it, the best thing for you to do is to speak to your doctor about it. They should be able to offer you useful advice going forward.

It also helps to talk to your partner about it. If you don’t, they are going to become more and more concerned. Simply state to them that you are feeling a little low and wanted to let them know what is going on. They should understand which can help you cope with it in the future.

There are some things that I’ve found really help me. I take a little time out to just relax and be away from everyone even if it is just for five minutes. I’ll make a cup of tea, sit down, and watch a documentary on Netflix. If that doesn’t help, I’ll have a long bath. You might find it useful to hit the gym, or to spend time cuddling with your partner. It is different for everyone.

Sometimes some space can help
Original source: Life Gag

Have you had the post-sex blues?

It can happen to anyone, which means that you could have had the post-sex blues yourself. If so, I’d love to hear from you. What are your coping techniques? Have you noticed certain things trigger the blues in you?

Share your tips and tricks in the comments below. It could really help out other clients like you. You might even spot some great tips written by others!

Lara Mills
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Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
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