How Can You Convince Your Partner To Try BDSM

There are many people out there who want to engage in BDSM, but let’s face it, it isn’t something that everyone is convinced about. Maybe it is because we have been socially conditioned to think that BDSM is a bit weird, conducted by people in gimp masks. Although that is far from the truth, it can make it difficult to get our partners to try it out.

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Still, it can be done. This isn’t like a threesome, where you are trying to get another person in bed. With that scenario, understandably, your partner may be concerned that you want to fuck someone else, and that is before we get into the whole debate of whether they want to see someone in bed who is the same sex as them. With BDSM, the fun will at least be between you two, so there is more of a chance you can convince them that it is a good idea.

So, how do we get our partner to experiment in the kinky world? It is possible, but you really have to tread carefully.

Respect

Firstly, it is important that you don’t pressure your partner. There is a wrongly held belief that BDSM is abuse, as well as other myths that we recently tried to bust. This may in fact be one of the reasons your partner is cynical, or at least has never brought it up. If you pressure, that just plays into the narrative that this is someone imposing their will on another. News flash; if someone believes that BDSM is bullying, don’t bully them, even unintentionally.

Let your partner know that you want to do it with them because you trust them so much, and that you want to share this intimate experience with them. Tell them you think it will make you both closer.

Education, Education, Education

If that goes well, the next thing you need to do is educate. Not in a patronising way of course, but let them know about the reality of what happens in a traditional meeting.

Too many people have watched or read ’50 Shades of Grey’ and therefore have a slanted view of what happens. Grey forces Anna to do it against her will. This is a gross misrepresentation of what really goes on as those of us who have tried it will know. However, if the media and Hollywood is where you get your education on BDSM, it will be no surprise that it is ‘flawed’.

There is also a belief that the dominant will just do things to the sub until they are satisfied, without caring about the sub’s feelings. In fact, the sub is in control. The use of a safeword allows them to call quits on the encounter when they feel it is becoming too much. This will never be ignored and is what the whole kinky world is based on. Respect is key.

Start Slow

Now, you may well have been able to make headway with your partner, so it is important to do your BDSM encounter right. You therefore need to read the beginner’s guides we have to offer. This isn’t like ‘normal sex’ where you can just muddle through, even if you are a bit rubbish. If you do this kind of fun wrong, it won’t just be unfulfilling, it will be unpleasant and possibly downright dangerous.

It is then an idea for you to both gradually move into the world of kink. Too many people get the whips out right away, and that just creates an uncomfortable situation.

You can maybe start this by maybe spanking when you are in the doggystyle position. After that, why not tie up your partner’s hands during sex? These small steps may lead to more naughty things like watersports or hardsports (or they may not), but if you start off with those types of extremes you are unlikely to have a good experience.

Other Options

It is also important to remember to take no for an answer. There will be people who don’t like this kind of fun, and no matter how much you try and convince them it won’t work. The kinky world isn’t for everyone.

In this scenario, it is a good idea to see a domination escort. They will be able to help you fulfil your fantasy with the added benefit that they are experts in their field. If you would like to meet one, click the button below and start that BDSM journey. Who knows where it will end up?

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Martin Ward

Martin Ward is a well respected editor and writer with over five years experience in the adult industry. After stints in the Escort Advertising call centre and on the escort forum, he moved into the site editor position around three years ago.

Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.

When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
Martin Ward
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