You might think that you know everything you will ever need to know in bed, but most of us could still use a little education. Getting sex smart is a real challenge, but there are a few things you can do to learn more about pleasuring your partner and yourself in bed.
We have a few tips for you below, so take a look at how you can make yourself sex smart. You can even vote in our poll to tell us whether you believe you are already sex smart or feel you have a lot to learn still.
Figure out what you want
Before you start figuring out exactly what it is you can do to please your partner, you need to figure out how to please yourself. This means taking the time to experiment and see what turns you on, as well as the things that turn you off.
If you watch porn then you have already started doing this. From watching porn you’ll already have a good idea of the things that turn you on or turn you off. You might even have discovered some things you never expected to like.
You may even know from previous sex sessions about things you don’t like. It’s good to have hard limits you can share with your partner, as it will show them that you know what you don’t like, and so you can instead focus on the things you love!
Be open to new things
The good thing about watching porn is that there is so much variety out there. Whether you enjoy watching hot lesbians writhing all over each other or you prefer to watch some bondage, there is going to be something for you out there.
However, the variety also means you are probably going to end up seeing something you weren’t expecting. The important thing is to keep an open mind while you are figuring out what it is you like.
Don’t put anything into the “no” column on your list of things you will and won’t do unless you have explored it a little. You might just surprise yourself with a kinky act you never thought you’d like. If you don’t like it? Then you haven’t lost anything, and you know that it isn’t for you. Keep an open mind and you’ll find that sex gets a lot more entertaining.
Don’t be afraid to ask for it
Once you know what you want in the bedroom there is another important thing you have to do. You have to learn to ask for it.
This is a tough ask for some people. For whatever reason, we are under the impression that we should be able to read minds in bed. This doesn’t happen, and can lead to some pretty disappointing sex.
So you are going to have to learn to ask for what you want. Eager to try a new position? Simply say to your partner “I’d like to try something new” and then explain it to them. The chances are that they are just as eager to try out something exciting as you are! If they are apprehensive, you can still talk about it.
Communication is important
The best way to become sex smart is to learn to talk about sex. We clam up when sex comes up in conversation because it still feels dirty and wrong to talk about it.
If you manage to open up about sex, you’ll find that you have an easier time pleasing your partner. They’ll tell you what works for them and ask you what turns you on. You can be open and honest about what you want!
It also helps you if you are struggling to get them off. They can give you some help and direction when you need it without making you feel as though you are being criticised. It isn’t dirty to talk about sex, and if you want to learn what your partner wants, this is the best way to do it.
Do you think you are sex smart?
When it comes to how smart our sex is, I’ll admit that I could probably do with learning more. Experimenting with different things in the bedroom is a great way to add to your skills, but having an open mind and the ability to communicate is going to help you even more.
The big question is, do you consider yourself to be sex smart? Let us know what you think by leaving a comment in the box below. You could even vote in our poll and let us know what you think there!
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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