You all know that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well, this means that we should all eat good food, like fruits and vegetables and man, apples are delicious, no matter how you choose to eat them. I feel a strong desire to go home and bake an apple pie, right now. Of course, you can eat the apple whole, sliced, or…straight from your lady’s vagina. Wait…what?
We all know that fruits or vegetables that look like penises have been used for pleasuring women since a long time ago. Well, we had no dildos, so this is understandable.
However, I’ve never heard of keeping fruits and vegetables inside of a vagina and then eat them. And since I am a sex writer, there are so many things I’ve heard of. I am very interested in all kinds of experiences and fetishes, but how do I feel about eating food straight from a vagina? Honestly, I hope this is not the beginning of a new food movement.
“He Asked Me to Stick Different Things in My Vagina, Like Apples, Pears, Carrots…”
Now, thanks to Reddit, you know that you’ve eaten fruits in the wrong manner until now. I’m joking, you just know that there are men…or there is a man who eats all his veggies but only after his wife’s vagina kept them fresh…or maybe not that fresh.
I have many questions for the lady who described her man’s fetish on Reddit, and one of them is about the apples and pears: does she mean the whole fruits? Does she stay with a whole apple inside her honey pot…all day long? And…is that guy interested in fermenting the fruits? I’m sorry…what is this???
Anyway, according to her, this food play has been going on for a couple of months though she hoped it would be something seasonal….Even if my concern (about the whole apple) was important, hers makes even more sense. She is worried that her husband’s pleasure can make them sick. Well, I don’t know about him, but lady, have you ever heard about infections?
Now, please don’t get me wrong. I know people do some nasty things when they are out of sight and I am no saint either, but damn, this makes me think only about toxic shock syndrome. And that’s really far from being kinky.
Can Food-Stuffed Vagina Save a Relationship?
As she confessed, their relationship wasn’t working anymore so she agreed to do whatever he wanted. Well, I have to admit that he thought of an interesting manner of cooking his veggies and fruits.
I think that accepting each other’s kinks is a good start and it helps people who want to save their relationships. However, in this case, sickness can split them apart forever is she dies of septicemia.
I wasn’t kidding with the toxic shock syndrome which is acute septicemia in women from bacterial infections. And neither was the doctor who commented on this lady’s story. He also mentioned that other infections might appear. This makes you want to make an apple pie instead, doesn’t it?
Anyway, if you want to bring food to bed and not eat it while watching a new Vikings episode, I advise you to be careful. Condoms should be used in order to avoid bacterial infections. And if you don’t want to use condoms ( why wouldn’t you? Are you afraid the cucumber will feel less pleasure?), just stick to things that have a “protective skin”. Insert a zucchini, for instance!
So, What Do You Think: Hot…or Not?
When I say food foreplay, I can’t stop myself from thinking about strawberry with cream or chocolate, grapes, cherries or other delicious…fresh things. As much as I try, I can’t find the sexiness in “ pussy fermented fruits and veggies”. Can you?
Do you think that a fermented apple a day keeps the break up far away? Don’t be shy and tell us your thoughts by commenting in the box below or on our online escorting community! Cheers!
She is most well known for her sex advice pieces, yet also has a major interest in sexual health and other serious issues. However, this is all done with a quirky style that is unmistakably hers.
When she isn't working, Anna is a fitness fanatic, and enjoys going away with her partner for various weekend trips.
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