For the vast majority of people, the idea of visiting fetish clubs or taking part in a kinky party used to be just a dream. Kinks were kept in private, and we lived in fear of people discovering our fetishes. We stayed quiet on the things that turned us on, but not any more!
It is more acceptable now to let your kinky side out, and while not everyone will agree or understand it, we can still explore them. We can try them in private with a consenting partner, but we can also go out and meet others through our kinks. There are plenty of fetish clubs and kinky parties you can go to… so what should you expect?
Attending fetish clubs
No matter where you are in the world, the chances are that there are some fetish clubs close to you, or at least in your nearest city. These clubs give you the chance to dive into the action and explore your fetish with tons of like-minded people.
If you’ve never been to a fetish club before, you probably have a vivid image built up in your mind. The media paints these clubs in a certain way. You might imagine being whipped the moment you walk in, but that isn’t the case at all.
The fetish scene and clubs where you can explore it is very different. You’ll find music and drinks to enjoy in the main bar area, with different areas sectioned off for certain things. You can easily simply stand around and watch what is happening. However, you’ll want to check the rules of each individual club in case you make a mistake.
You don’t have to get involved if you don’t want to, but you can still observe if people are okay with it, allowing you to learn. You might learn new techniques which allow you to cause pain without damage to your partner. You might even see some new equipment you’d love to own.
One of the best things about visiting fetish clubs is that you can talk about your kink without the fear of being judged. Everyone there shares similar interests, and so you can talk opening about the things you love. It is the perfect opportunity to ask questions and discover more things you might like.
Invited to a kinky party?
For some people, heading to fetish clubs is a bit too much for them. Many clubs can be attended by the public, as long as they pay an entry fee, and so attendees might worry about their private life being exposed. They want to keep it private, and so they’d rather visit somewhere a little more discreet.
This is why kinky parties are so popular. These parties work in a similar way to the clubs you might be tempted by, but they often feel more discreet. You’ll usually know the host, who will issue you an invite, and the theme tends to be pretty specific.
That said, there are kinky parties for any and every occasion. Foot fetish, CFNM (clothed female, naked male), swinging. The possibilities are endless, and many prefer kinky parties because they seem more intimate and private.
Like the clubs, each party will have different rules, depending on what is going on. A general rule of thumb is to ask before touching anyone, or getting involved in a scene. Asking permission is huge, and showing that you respect boundaries is going to show others that you are serious about it.
You might find it easier to unwind and let go at a private party, but it can also be difficult to explore. They might not have the same range of equipment, and if you go to enough run by the same hosts, it can get a little stale.
The most important thing? Be prepared
What you can expect at the fetish club or kinky party you attend will depend on what kind of kink it is themed around. Either way, you can help yourself out by being prepared. You should look up the rules to the club or talk to the party organiser to find out what is expected of you. This gives you a good idea of how other guests will behave too!
You might also want to think about taking your own condoms and lube, especially if you have had bad reactions in the past to a specific lube or condom. It helps to prevent any problems and shows that you understand your own body.
If you have hard limits, make sure you know them beforehand, and don’t be afraid to say no. Just because someone has asked you to do something doesn’t mean you have to! If you change your mind later on, you can always approach them about it.
For your first time, you might find it easier to simply observe. If so, ask. You should ask permission before getting involved in a scene, but it is also important to ask before watching. Some couples might go to a private room to be alone, and so you watching from the sides isn’t going to work for them. If they say no simply move on.
How was your first experience in a fetish club? Mine was challenging, because I had done no research. My etiquette there was poor, but I’ve learned now. What would you say is the number one piece of advice others should know before trying it for themselves?
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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