I will begin this article with a true story. The other day I was talking to one of my work colleagues about porn, as you do, being the filthy deviant that I am, and we got onto the subject of animated porn (don’t know how, like!). Anyway, it reminded me of a lad I used to work with a few years ago at a very well known video game retailer back around 2001/2002.
Mike was what you would expect a young man to be working at place like this, a 19 year old, tall, skinny lad with big jam-jars and a basin-cut hair do, the Full Monty. Obviously he was living with his parents and was obsessed with Power Rangers, manga and role playing games, and I don’t mean in the sense of ‘role playing’ with an escort either, I’m talking full on LARPing, dressing up with other like-minded lost causes in a community that pretends to be in Dungeons and Dragons. That sort of thing.
Mike had never kissed a girl that he wasn’t related to, although he would never confirm nor deny it, so one night, me and a couple of lads from the shop blagged him to come on a night out with us under the pretence of a few quiet brewskis. We did pop into the pub for a couple to sort of play it off at first, later suggesting that we try out a ‘new’ place that had opened up the road, ‘The Velvet Butterfly’ (no longer open, sadly). Mike was in for a big surprise waaaay outside of his comfort zone!
The Boy Becomes a Bigger Boy
I remember walking up to those cool, enchanting blue neon lights slowly forming into words through the dark, foggy winter’s night as we approached this haven of topless lovelies. Once this lad realised just what sort of joint we we talking him into, getting him through the door was like trying to get a cat into the fucking bath! The big bastard at the entrance indifferently accepted a wad of tenners to get us all through the door, two of us dragging Mike in in the process. Once we were in, poor Mikey froze on the spot as we were approached by a big-breasted blonde beauty wearing naught but a red g-string and matching bikini top (oh, and red shoes… probably). I was tempted to hand her cash over myself as I ogled those firm, round silicone tits, but alas, this boy was a bigger cause than I, so I sweet-talked her a bit (as if I needed to), whispered in her ear that Mike had never seen a woman naked in real life, gave her £10 and she dragged him off into the darkness. I almost felt sorry for the poor bugger, reaching out at me with his hand extended out like he was about to fall off a cliff, but it was for his own good!
Admittedly, I enjoyed a couple of dances myself once Mike had been coerced into one of the cubicles with this cracker, but what surprised me was that after 30 minutes, I was done and I couldn’t see him anywhere. The lads informed me that he was still in the cubicle, and I thought that she had eaten him alive! Eventually he came out a few minutes later, mop-top ruffled, face covered in lip-stick and a grin on his face that would put a Cheshire cat to shame. I thought he was going to make a pass at me at first, as he threw his arms around me and repeatedly expressed his gratification. I think he enjoyed himself!
Pokémon: You Have to Poke Them All!
The boy became a man, in some capacity anyway. It certainly cheered the plucky-fellow up no end, and it was all he would talk about for weeks afterwards. We hoped that this experience would give him a bit of a confidence boost, but of course, he was still a gibbering wreck when a new version of the ‘Sims’ attracted a swarm of young, perky tittied totties into the shop. One day, I overheard one of the other lads, Al, talking to Mike, who had invited him round to his to play computer games. I though nothing of it. The following day, Al reported back with some news. Apparently, Mike thought it would be a brilliant idea to sit in his father’s downstairs office room to online chat with Al on his upstairs laptop. Why? I could not tell you, but that was Mike for you.
While Mike was occupied thinking up shite to write to Al who was in the same building as him, Al had a sneaky peak through his folder labelled ‘PRIVATE’. Obviously that was just screaming “open me”, and to Al’s surprise, he had discovered a vault of JPEG files, each depicting the characters of Pokémon, the much-loved popular Nintendo video game series, in an array of sexual contortions. The character that seemed to frequent that most in these images was ‘Misty’, a cute red-head that is (apparently) best friends with the series main character, Ash, a ‘Pokémon Trainer’. According to Al, these pictures portrayed a strange, sexual free-for-all between Ash, Misty and Brock, with a bit of bestiality thrown in for good measure with their animals such as Pikachu, Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Jigglypuff. Al also realised what side ‘Team Rocket’ was playing on too!
Incest: A Game for All the Cartoon Families
To save face, we decided that Al’s discovery of Mike’s Pokémon porn stash would remain a private joke and that we would only laugh about it behind his back to spare him the shame of it all. The biggest shock was the volume of images he had more than what the content was, and at the time, he must have spent HOURS downloading those hundreds of images using basic dial-up internet.
Admittedly, I wasn’t unfamiliar with these cartoon porn images. It was quite common for me and my mates to send these small GIF files to each other on our mobile phones for a laugh, and they could be of Fred Flintstone smashing Betty Rubble or George Jetson getting a gobble from his daughter Judy. There was even one of Bart Simpson doing Marge doggy-style, and we treated this really as an amusing corruption of popular animated characters, unlike Mike, who had a secret stash that was his own dirty little secret.
Escapism
Al’s discovery of Mike’s porn folder got me thinking why he would be into this shit? All right, he wasn’t going to get a girlfriend any time soon, but he did have unlimited ‘normal’ porn at his disposal thanks to the internet, so why is he chugging off to animated animals molesting each other? It dawned on me only recently that video games were everything to Mike. He LIVED in a video game world filled with magic, mages and pixelated mythical beasts, and he was the Dungeon Master in his own little world. This was obviously more than a passion, this was his escape to the hum-drum of reality where everyone would pass him by without so much as even a second glance. It is almost a tragedy in a way, as getting aroused by porn featuring his favourite video game characters was probably the most natural thing in the world to Mike. Playing video games meant that Mike was in control of his destiny, there was trajectory, a purpose, an outcome, and if he failed or died, he could start again. However, living in this world didn’t mean that he still didn’t get those sexual urges, so the two must have entwined into his fantasy fascination.
Final Fantasies
As I was working in the video game industry, it came to me as no surprise that developers play on the sexual urges of adolescents, and there have been plenty of games that feature sex or sexual connotation to sell their titles. Games that come to mind include Dead or Alive, a beat-em-up button masher where you can select a character to beat the shit out of another fighter, of which most of them were scantily-clad busty babes with advanced tit-bouncing physics. Pre-orders of these titles would soar and the main catchment group were males ranging from the ages of 11 – 30. I would joke at the time that every pre-order should come with a free box of Kleenex! A spin off from Dead or Alive was Dead or Alive: Beach Volleyball, which featured the females from the series batting a volleyball at each other on a range of different sceneries. The player could customise their characters by unlocking different costumes for this virtual crumpet, some of them so skimpy I am surprised that it managed to get a PEGI 12+ game rating!
In Japan and all over the world, the popular Final Fantasy VII heroine, Tifa Lockhart became a sexual icon, dressed in her tight white boob-tube to expose her heaving bosom, complimented by a tight black skirt and braces, finished off by a pair of kick-ass combat boots and gloves. It is hard to Google ‘Tifa Lockhart’ without inadvertently stumbling upon her sprawled out in a range of suggestive positions! Maybe the fascination of Tifa all down to her being one of the first proper ‘Girl Power’ characters in the video game world. Of course, similarly and around the same time, Lara Croft of the Tomb Raider series was regarded as the new Claudia Schiffer of the Playstation generation. Many young men would drool over Lara’s triangular knockers and enjoyed the site of her crudely-vectored arse wiggling from side to side as she tried to out-run a random T-Rex that appeared out of nowhere. Finally, women in video games were equal, if not MORE powerful than male video game protagonists; they had guns AND tits! What a powerful combo!
Hentai
In the 1990s, I had heard of these ‘rude cartoons’, although I didn’t really think much of them. My father did have a copy of the French 1975 adult cartoon Jungle Burger (or Tarzoon: Shame of the Jungle as known in the States), which I watched in during the 90s and found it mildly amusing, but not sexually arousing by any stretch. What I didn’t know about was the extremity of these Japanese animé titles, where vulnerable young girls would be coaxed into the chambers of a demi-demon that would end up being bounded and sexually manipulated by many phallic-shaped tentacles. When they weren’t being sexually abused by demons, these young ladies would inevitably end up having a sexual pyjama party, sensually exploring and licking each other’s firm, pert bodies, rosy-cheeked and making little high pitched gasps and moans upon every touch.
The first time I ever saw Hentai was when a friend of mine brought over his laptop to show me some films he had downloaded. He particularly wanted to show me a series (three episodes) of something called Dragon Pink. He didn’t tell me what it was, but I watch them (about 20 minutes in length each) and it was basically a cartoon that mimicked the adventures of Final Fantasy; four adventurers travelling from village to village looking for riches and adventure. ‘Pink’ was one of the two female characters of this army of four, and her ‘character class’ was ‘Cat Slave’. I’m going to be honest here and say what a distasteful load of shite this was, as Pink was being used throughout the series for the sexual gratification of ‘Santa’, the party leader, who would also kick abobut and send Pink out to as bait to confront any danger first, and she would ultimately end up being raped in some disgraceful way. In one scene, a cobra worms its way into Pink’s knickers, and whilst inside her, ejects these spikes from its body to internally damage her flange.
Culturally Acceptable?
For me, Hentai is a twisted, misogynist outlet for sexual perverts to portray sick fantasies in such a fashion that they can get away with it. There seems to be this sense of ‘pleasure-pain’ ,Ying and Yang sort of thing happening, but ultimately, the females are always portrayed as the vulnerable victims being abused. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no late Mary Whitehouse, but there does have to be a line drawn somewhere, and fantasy is one thing, but violent abuse portrayed for the purpose of a wank isn’t acceptable in my book. Some may argue that this is just fantasy and watching it is a lot different to doing it in real life, but to me, if you’re wanking over it, you should go an seek some professional help, you filthy bastard!
I also believe that Hentai totally sends out the wrong message to the young and impressionable, who are probably more likely going to be watching it. The girls portrayed in Hentai are usually just that too; young. Okay, most Hentai somes from the Japan and perhaps I am looking at this from a Western-European mind set. Manga is a very popular genre in Japan and young teenage girls are often chose to model, and this was apparent from the controversial documentary ‘Girl Model’, whereby the journey of 13-year Nadya Vall was documented from when she left her squalid home in Russia to the metropolis of Japan in its seemingly emotionless model industry, hoping to make a better life for her family. Vall was shoe-horned into some tiny accommodation that can only be described as a cubicle, along with another girl of similar age, awaiting to be beckoned by the agency. She was separated from her family, scared and lonely, with little contact to her mother, who was worrying about her daughter thousands of miles away. The documentary raised issues surrounding Japanese child labour laws and paedophilia, given that this sparked controversy surrounding the sexualisation of young people for financial gain.
Cos-Play Wahey!
Of course, I’m may be regarded as as a hypocrite when I express my distaste of women being sexually exploited, but there is a massive difference between paying to see a woman dangling her fully developed breasts in my face and young cartoon girls being anally probed by a several slimy alien dicks. When I think back to Mike’s stash, I still wonder why this sort of thing rocked his socks off, but then I look at Cos-Play events whereby thousands of people meet together to dress up as fantasy, sci-fi, horror, comic book and video game characters to have a bit of fun. The paradigm and stigma of sexual attraction shifts completely when you see these hot women dressed up in tight latex costumes holding sexually suggestive weapons! Supergirl, Wonderwoman, Lara Croft; you name it! When you see women dressing up as these female protagonists, your cock will be harder than a Minecraft diamond pick-axe!
What is the Fascination with Animated Porn?
What is it really that gets the blood boiling when it comes to animated porn? Well, it’s probably a combination of things. Much like a latex costume at a Cos-Play event, the shape of a woman is revealed in all its feminine glory without the lumps and bumps that would otherwise be apparent, all hidden away. It’s a female figure exposing everything that they want you to see; in Cos-Play, the perfect cleavage can be created could be a couple of size A pimples, but with the right costume and altered proportions, those bounders can go from flat to fat in sexty seconds, creating the illusion of the perfect pair. In animated porn, every woman has the perfect proportion, even if it would look comical in real life, like massive tits and a tiny waist. Similarly in real life, a tight pair of tights can reveal an equally tight snatch, leaving the average red blooded male dumb-founded at the sight of a fabled camel-toe, and in animation, every women has an eager wide-on, always moist and hungry for pleasure.
Of course, there is the fantasy element of it. Women in real life aren’t Xena: Warrior Princess and aren’t going to straddle you sideways in the street. Not only would it be inappropriate, but the context would be ridiculous. It could be that animated porn takes these fantasy elements and puts them into a context where it doesn’t feel misplaced and ludicrous, and it could be that it enables the viewer to use their imagination rather than really be aroused by the visuals of the sexual animation.
In short, perhaps people are fascinated by the idea of role play rather than actually getting down to it. After all, Mike still shits his pants more than ten years on when a pretty girl says hello to him, but I bet he still strokes off to Jessica Rabbit. Scratch that: Jessica Rabbit is fit as fuck!
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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