Once in a while, a movie, a book or something else that has a different point of view, begins a revolution among people. This is what happened with “ Fifty Shades of Grey”, a while ago. It’s not that this movie brought bondage to the world. No! Bondage was always part of some people’s lives. But Fifty “Shades of Grey” somehow began normalising the practice.
This doesn’t mean there aren’t many who might consider it molestation, even though it happens between two consenting adults. Because of the less open-minded people, many of us, who are interested in exploring our sexuality and getting to know ourselves, are afraid bondage might actually be sexual abuse.
What is Bondage?
Many of those who shout their disapproval loud and clear, probably don’t even know what bondage is, since, like so many sexual concepts, it’s quite simple to recognize, but not as easy to define. However, a short description of bondage is that it represents the use of restrictions in order to maximise the sexual pleasure.
This means that, depending on the people who practice it, bondage can be simple or complex, from no gear at all, or just a pair of fluffy handcuffs to fetish clothing and even a closet full of equipment for movement deprivation. But it all depends on the people who are using this manner of offering and receiving pleasure.
Tie Me Up To Set Me Free
Many persons ask themselves why are some into bondage. With the risk of being cliched, I have to say that people are different, and there activities which are normal for some of us, but considered peculiar by others. Asking why people prefer bondage, instead of another type of sexual practice is like asking somebody: “Why vanilla, and not chocolate?”
However, some people jump into bondage to spice up their sexual life, while others just love the visual impact offered by the bondage instruments and clothes; some are turned on by gaining control, while others by not having control. So, everything is dependent on the people. What can be generalised is that bondage seems to be helping many persons discover emotional parts of them, which they weren’t aware of before.
Of course, psychologically speaking, bondage can be explained saying that the feeling of the temporary transfer of control and power is spreading the pleasure. So, let’s think about a person who has lots of responsibilities and employees. Having the power sounds fantastic, but from time to time he might want to let somebody else have the control, since with losing it, his responsibilities fly away, as well.
But whatever the reasons are, the vanilla-chocolate analogy should be enough, since, as long as nobody is hurt, people’s choices should not be questioned. And, even though many believe bondage is a violent sexual habit, people who do are not abusive with each other, and they take the precaution of keeping everything clear from the beginning.
Keep Calm, and Pick a Safe Word
Clearly, you must be with someone trustworthy to let them tie you up, right? If you let somebody you barely know play with you, it might become dangerous. Otherwise, as long as people feel comfortable and everything happens consensually, there is nothing abusive about bondage.
And, to make sure they don’t of out of line, there’s always a safe word. So, when they approach or cross a psychical or emotional boundary, people use a safe word, meant to stop or to continue at less intense level. Obviously, both participants should agree on the words before they start the scene, and make sure they remember their decisions.
Which is the best safe word? There is no such thing. Each couple can choose whatever they want. There are people who use food names, like “ potato”, “popcorn”, “sugar” or characters’ names such as Snow-White or even Rumpelstiltskin ( this is really impossible to forget, or to remember. Be careful! ). The safe words depend on a person imagination or lack of it. Some just say…”safe word” when they want to stop.
But, whatever the word is, the result is the same. Everything is ended and nobody gets caught in something they don’t want to be part of.
Introduce a Little Bondage into Your Life. Or a Lot
So, is Bondage abusive? Since we are talking about a sexual activity between two people who are performing a consensual action, bondage is far from being abusive. This is just a way of fulfilling your deepest desires, exploring your sexuality and getting closer to yourself and your partner.
The fact that not all people are into this manner of giving and receiving pleasure doesn’t mean it’s wrong. And, to be honest, since “ Fifty Shades of Grey”, bondage is less unusual than before, gaining the right to become a normal part of our sexual life.
If you have never tried bondage before, but you are interested in spicing up your sexual life, or you just think about exploring a little bit to find out whether you like it or not, you should go for it.
The fact that this is not abuse has been already established, but in order to keep it this way, you just have to take the usual safety measures.
So, be very careful with choosing, using and respecting the safe word. As long as this rule is not ignored, your bondage experience will be absolutely secure, giving you the chance to explore your deepest desire and maybe have a remarkable revelation regarding your sexual life.
She is most well known for her sex advice pieces, yet also has a major interest in sexual health and other serious issues. However, this is all done with a quirky style that is unmistakably hers.
When she isn't working, Anna is a fitness fanatic, and enjoys going away with her partner for various weekend trips.
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