Curvy Nina – Nine Things You Shouldn’t Say to an Escort

In my line of work I see people from different walks of life, which always made me consider myself blessed in a way. Seeing so many different personalities hasn’t changed my perspective of the job I’m doing, even though there are days when I just feel I want to throw my phone out the window and just say ‘fuck it’.

unhappy couple in bed

I’m sure many of my visitors, whether they are regular visitors or people who meet me for the first time are nervous when it comes to seeing a lady (it happens both ways, don’t worry), but there are a number of questions that you should never ask a lady, no matter how well you two know each other.

1. So do you like sucking cock?

In the heat of the moment me, as well as other ladies most definitely use dirty talk to keep things going and get things exciting. But when someone asks me, ‘so do you like sucking cock’ especially when I’m doing that thing they will get a sarcastic answer. That question doesn’t get me all ecstatic and it won’t definitely make me scream your name in pleasure. If you listen closely you might hear the sound of my eyes roll…up to the back of my head.

2. I only have €20, €30, can you give me a discount?

You look like a cheap thing… I don’t hate men, although some might think otherwise. I have the deepest and most sincere appreciation for a man who can make me laugh, who I can engage in a conversation, a man who respects me and my job above all. This is Regardless of the background they come from.

But seeing texts seeking a discount or getting free advice from someone on how I run my business and my body will get an automatic block. Some men see us as objects and not as human beings.

Above all we are a service provider. You don’t go into a doctor’s office and begin negotiating their rates, so I expect you do the same with me.

3. Are you really Irish?

You don’t look Irish, I was expecting an Irish girl… Ok, I’m not Irish born, and I don’t lie about it, but I do have a passport and citizenship. Saying something like ‘but I wanted an Irish lady’ is just simply mean. The fact that I feel I’m a part of Ireland and that I love this country so much to want to get citizenship, should be a form of flattery. At least that’s what I believe. If I respect Ireland and love it why can’t you respect me?

4. Are you in county X, Y, Z, or when will you go there?

Luckily for us we live in an era where you can get any information you need from the internet. As many other ladies, I’ve chosen Twitter, because it’s easier to reach my clients and it’s not as obvious for clients as opening an escort website. I announce my tours in real time and the dates I’m available in each city. Why bother calling me or texting me when you can read exactly where I am? It works the same when it comes to booking an appointment. Don’t just look at photos, take time to read my profile and times when I am in or close to your location.

5. So what are your rates? And do you do this, that and that?

Do you do that for extra money? I get why some men may be put off by some ladies who falsely advertise just for the sake of getting more clients. But the established ladies with plenty of positive feedback aren’t like that. We only do what’s advertised and we expect you to read what we write there. Trying to offer extra money for a certain favourite that’s not listed won’t get me excited, it will only make my vagina dry.

6. But I just showered before I came/this morning etc

If you expect a lady to always smell of roses, it’s a two way street. We expect the same thing, that’s why we pride ourselves with a quality, no rush service. I’d gladly give 5 minutes extra when you want to shower, rather than smell nasty odours. It’s not like you can control bodily functions and I am perfectly capable of understanding if you’re a bit more sweaty or don’t come in a suit and tie when you visit me.

7. Do you know…or can you recommend me someone?

The thing about us sex workers, especially in a smaller country is that we know most ladies who work in a certain area or town (whether we share with them, have duos with them, dislike them, or simply meet for coffee)

I particularly dislike the conversation that starts with: ‘I’ve met escort X when she was there and we did this and that’. No gives a crap about that and it honestly makes me uncomfortable. Whether I know the lady in question or not, I don’t want to know how your encounter with her has been.

Also, we’re not the Yellow Pages. I can’t recommend another lady with the hopes that you will feel the same. We are all different and we have different tolerance to things. If I do a certain service, another lady might not offer the same thing. So never ask for recommendations.

8. If I see you 3, 4, 20 times will I ever get a discount/freebie?

The answer is ‘no’. No you won’t. Just because a lady will make it look less like a business and more like a meeting with a friend there’s no reason to abuse her kindness.

This question makes me think, especially at the end of a day that you have the intention of robbing me. You’re not my accountant and it’s none of your business to know how much money I made in the day. I don’t ask for your bank statement and I am not curious to know how much money you make.

I hope that somehow my tips will be useful for a lot of people and that you will think twice before asking a lady a question that will make her cringe, hang up the phone or simply want to kick you out the door.

Curvy Nina can be found on Twitter if you wish to contact her or read more of her thoughts.

Curvy Nina

Curvy Nina

Curvy Nina is a much loved and respected escort in Ireland.
Curvy Nina

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