When it comes to searching for the hottest sex tips, you hope to find a trick to try in the bedroom to instantly make her orgasm. Instead, we tend to talk about doing one thing – talk. With communication you are supposed to be able to solve any and all problems in the bedroom.
For most of us, the idea of sitting down with your partner and talking about what we want is a bit of a turn off. We’d rather just do it and experiment, instead of spending the time making a plan about how great sex will be. So is communication really that important in bed?
What do you want?
This should go without saying, but you can’t expect your partner to give you what you want in the bedroom if you don’t actually know what you want yourself. But sometimes figuring out exactly what you want can be tough, especially if you haven’t had the chance to experiment.
You might not know what you want in the bedroom until you start to fool round under the sheets, or perhaps you already have an idea. Think about the type of porn you watch. This often gives a pretty good indicating about the types of things you want in bed.
For example, if you enjoy watching two hot and sexy women get off with each other, you might want to enjoy a threesome so you can see it in person. Enjoy seeing sensual massages? It could be that you want to experience it for yourself, either giving the massage or receiving it. So when you know what you want, how do you let your partner know?
Talking to your partner
No, mind reading isn’t an option. We wish it was, because it would make sex so much easier. However most of us don’t have this ability. It sucks, but we just have to cope with it in other ways.
So if you have something you want to try out, you can either spend time hoping that your partner will magically pick up on your desires or you can just tell them what you want. Sitting down to talk to your partner about sex and your fetishes is intimidating, but it gives you the chance to open up honest communication with them about your needs.
You get the chance to explain to your partner exactly what turns you on about this kind of sex, which is great! You can tell them all about your desires and answer any questions they have about what you want. It even gives you the chance to plan out what will happen!
When you don’t need communication
Some people feel that they don’t need to talk when it comes to sex. They have been with their partner for so long that they automatically know what they want, or they simply like to experiment and play around to get what they desire.
It might even be that you have had bad experiences in the past talking about your kinks. Perhaps communication hasn’t gone so well for you, in that previous partners have instantly rejected your ideas? This can leave you feeling as though your kink is wrong.
There are times when talking is still important in bed. For example, if you are into BDSM. You’ll still need to communicate to your partner the safe word if things get too much. However, many good mistresses pride themselves on being able to recognise when their sub has gone beyond their limits and cannot voice it. So is communication really that important?
Is it really that important?
It might not be something you enjoy doing, but communication is still hugely important in the bedroom. Sure, it might take the spontaneity away from sex, but it also means that you and your partner are on the same page.
There is no confusion over what you want. You are both clear about it, and so you can really enjoy yourselves properly! So why hold back?
Is communication really that important in bed? Let us know what you think by leaving a comment in the box below or by voting in the poll.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.