My views on Daddy Dom have changed a lot throughout the years. In the beginning, I was disgusted by it. Like many others, I thought that it was a little too incestuous in nature. But then I opened my mind, did some research, and I learned that this isn’t the case at all.
The Daddy Dom kink seems complicated, but at the very core of it, it is surprisingly simple. So what is it that sets apart a traditional dominant relationship from the Daddy Dom one? Is it really something we should be creeped out by?
My first experience
“Could we try something?”
I was sitting in a coffee shop with the guy I’d been seeing for a while. He was the first person I’d really opened up to sexually. I felt safe and comfortable talking about and exploring pretty much anything with him. We had these chats over coffee regularly, a nice and relaxed environment with no pressure involved. It made talks like this easier… in theory.
“I want you to call me something else.”
“Like what?” I’d asked, mid-sip of the cappuccino I’d ordered.
He’d paused, smiling as he looked at me. “Call me Daddy.”
I was stunned and horrified by those words. Wasn’t that incestuous? Why would he want that? It was weird, right? Clearly the look on my face made it obvious how I felt about it, and so we began to talk about what this kink was actually about.
Traditional dominant relationships
Before I get into the Daddy Dom kink, it makes sense to start with traditional dominant relationships. I identify as a switch. This means that I am comfortable being both dominant and submissive, depending on my partner and their interests. As a result, I’ve grown familiar with traditional dominant roles, both as a dominant and a submissive.
A dom or domme is typically the person in a superior position during play. They are the one in charge, giving the orders and setting the expectations for the submissive to meet. Whenever a scene is set, they are the ones in control of that scene and what could happen.
Traditionally, the dominant acts cold towards the submissive. They are giving them orders to follow, and their exact expectations must be met. Not meeting them results in punishment. The control is because they want the submissive to do something in a certain way, to push them to their limits.
What is Daddy Dom?
Before we go any further, let’s just make one thing clear. Daddy Dom is not because you want to have sex with your father. It is a dominant relationship, but not in the traditional sense that we know it as.
The Daddy will be in control of each scene. Like traditional domination, they will set their expectations and give orders. The key difference is that they aren’t as cold. The kink is more about a nurturing relationship between the submissive and the Daddy Dom. The submissive will be told what to do by the Daddy for their own betterment. For example, they might instruct their submissive to get that task done that they’ve been putting off. They want to support and encourage their sub, while still maintaining that dominant role.
Traditional doms tend to reserve the nurturing part for the aftercare, while Daddy Doms incorporate it throughout play. Compliments, encouragement, an assortment of things to try and get a reaction. They want to see their little enjoying themselves. This isn’t to say that traditional doms don’t want this, but with a Daddy Dom, it is more overt.
Why does it appeal?
Some people love the idea of a nurturing relationship with their dom. They don’t want to be belittled all of the time. Being encouraged and supported provides an entirely different experience. Punishment is still a deterrent, but often the idea of disappointing the Daddy is a stronger driving force. Being able to call their partner “Daddy” is something a lot of women have admitted they want to do. It’s a common kink!
After doing my own research, I decided “what the hell”. I talked with my partner and we tried it out. Calling him Daddy was surprisingly easy, and I found the experience enjoyable and emotional. When it was over I felt almost overwhelmed with the support I’d had. It was intense in a totally different way and I’ll admit right here that I actually enjoyed it.
It is something a little bit different for many people. However, I don’t think I’d be able to enjoy it with my other dominant partners. A Daddy Dom requires a unique mind and skill set. Striking the balance between commanding and nurturing is a challenge.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Latest posts by Lara Mills (see all)
- Common Mistakes Made During Sex And How To Fix Them - April 25, 2019
- Your Hay Fever Could Be Eased By More Sex! - April 2, 2019
- “Call Me Daddy”: The Appeal Of Daddy Dom - February 20, 2019