Time To Put A Cork In It Ladies

Time to put a cork in it ladies! However gentlemen… of course, Jizzle on! Here are the BBFC’s plans to push out UK made fetish porn in favour of vanilla. So… for those of you British-produced, porn watchers out there that are not already aware of the new, sexist and somewhat perplexed Audio Media Visual Regulation 2014 prepare yourself for this hopeless, quite comical, attempt to control the countries fetishisms! New regulations came into effect on the 2nd Dec 2014, as instructed by the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC).
sexy legs in black stockings

On Tuesday of this week, somewhere within the UK, gathered in a board room sipping tea, was a bunch of scorned faced, nose raised, authorising bodies having a discussion on what in fact is deemed ‘normal human nature’ or ‘nice sex’. Attempting to determine what is not dangerous, offensive or ‘life-scarring’ within the British Porn industry, any content, which surprisingly seems to mostly be aimed at female pleasure, that consists of anything from the following list should be banned under the new UK Government Law:

Spanking
Caning
Aggressive whipping
Penetration by any object “associated with violence”
Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual?!?!?!)
Urolagnia (known as “water sports”)
Role-playing as non-adults
Physical restraint
Humiliation
Female ejaculation!?!?!?!
Strangulation
Facesitting
Fisting

This means any content that involves any sign of hatred, maliciousness, hostile, ill-natured, harmful, cruel – (…teasing), unkind, ‘life endangering’, abusiveness (regardless of consent) verbal abuse – (the list is endless!) is no longer permissible on line, in any sex shop or establishment within Britain. Content is no longer lawful if it cannot be classified as an R18, according to guidelines laid out by the British Board of Film Censors (BBFC). However, home made videos for personal use of sitting and ejaculating all over your partners face whilst speaking to him in whichever manner you feel appropriate, followed by a good ol’ ass whipping isn’t law breaking? For example, if you are behind closed doors.

Quite a list right? But one mostly made up of things that seem to have been picked out pretty capriciously… I’m surprised ‘hair pulling’ wasn’t chucked in there too! The most shocking ‘act of disgust’ has got to be the female ejaculation. I mean what exactly is the difference between ejaculating lady pieces and an exploding penis? Both human, natural happenings…

As the BBFC tells us, a lot of the judgement being passed on squirting is because, they’ve sampled some porn and come to the conclusion that they have come across a lot of piss possibly ‘disguised’ as squirty cum, in an effort to circumvent obscenity laws. I can imagine this kind of task would have been slightly difficult to carry out, without actually being there in the flesh and experiencing the fluids escaping the ejaculating woman landing conveniently under their turned up nostrils!

And how about face sitting…? I’m pretty sure two consenting adults can manage to avoid suffocation if one was to allow another to gently perch on their face for a bit of civilised cunnilingus!

Portrait of shocked pin-up girlWell ladies, sorry but, if you are that unfortunate squirter I guess you are going to have to start practising controlling the strength of your squirt or you could face a very serious punishment – not one you may be used to receiving! Or the option to maybe consider a change of career. So while an ejaculating woman would be breaking the law, shockingly the male population can still skull fuck you senseless and eject all over your face or wherever they desire and it’s all good… Sounds fair.

While the measures won’t stop people from watching whatever genre of porn they desire, as videos shot abroad can still be viewed, they do impose severe restrictions on content created in the UK. And appear to make no distinction between consensual and non-consensual practices between adults.

So what does this mean for your sex life? You can still watch porn containing these acts from any country except the UK. I guess if you are a UK-bound fetishist who regularly enjoys any of the mentioned acts it’s going to be risky business when it comes to fulfilling sexual desires. You can still watch porn but if it was produced in the UK just don’t get too excited or expect any of the frowned upon pornographic genres mentioned in this article. Censorship-wise, I guess you could say the UK has just taken a big step backwards and moderated hard core porn to be ‘less offensive’, while here in Ireland it is still legal to create hardcore pornography as long as it doesn’t show acts that are “illegal in the state”.

Will this bring about a rise in Irish-made porn? Tell us in the comments below or on the Escort Ireland forum.

Genevive

Genevive

Genevive is the newest writer to join the Escort-Advertising team, catch her posts here!
Genevive

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