Sometimes we want to get a little kinky in the bedroom without dipping into the world of BDSM. Submission and domination isn’t for everyone, and while it can be fun to experiment, it might be a turn off for you. However we still want to have fun in bed, which is why things like anal play are really exciting.
The ass is so tempting to many of us. We are told that it is a taboo, that we shouldn’t want to play with it. And yet that just makes us want it more. We love everything about the ass, and so anal play is a huge turn on to many of us. But how do you get started?
1. Lots and lots of lube
If you are going to experiment with anything anal you are going to need lube… lots and lots of lube. Lube makes everything slippery and so it is easier to slip a finger or a cock inside of their ass.
This isn’t the only reason lube is useful. Lube basically helps you to massage their hole. This helps them to relax and get used to the feeling of your fingers on their ass. For anal play this is an essential, as the more relaxed they are, the more fun you can have.
Forcing a finger or a toy into a hole that isn’t relaxed isn’t a good idea. It can cause damage. You can actually tear the asshole, which then leaves them open to infection. Definitely not what you were hoping for!
2. Fingers first
Before you go diving in with toys we suggest that you get your fingers involved first. This is going to help to ease them into it, especially if you make your finger fun a part of normal foreplay and sex.
Start by gently running your finger over the hole while you are having sex. This will get them used to your fingers touching them back there, and because you are doing it in the middle of sex it’ll feel incredibly exciting. Start off slowly and really build up to make it kinkier.
When they are used to it and they give you the go ahead, you can then try slipping a finger inside of them. Take your time, only going as far as the first knuckle. Let them get used to it, and when they are ready go for the next one. It will take a while, but eventually you’ll have a finger buried in their ass and you can start to fuck them with it.
3. Tapered toys
Once they get used to the feeling of your fingers in their tight hole, they might decide that they want to take things further and try some toys. If so, there are plenty of different toys you can try. Anal beads are popular, as they are slim and able to easily slip inside of the ass. They also have a hoop on the end, making it easier to keep hold of them.
There are also various butt plugs and vibrators you can buy. The butt plugs might simply be anal training tools to get your asshole to spread more, or they might vibrate to bring you pleasure.
They key here is to get toys with tapered ends. Dildos tend not to have tapered ends because they are designed for the pussy. There isn’t really anywhere it can go from there. The ass is different, and many have ended up in A&E because they have gotten a toy stuck in their ass. The tapered end is safe, as it helps make sure you have something to grab to pull it out.
4. Lick it good
Fed up of toys and fingers getting involved? Maybe you want to try the ultimate taboo and eat their ass. If so, you’ll want to get them to kneel down before you and spread their cheeks. Them spreading their own cheeks will be such a turn on for them, and you’ll love seeing their tight hole presented in such a way.
Start by kissing all around the hole. This will drive them while and really turn them on. When the time comes, gently press your lips to it. It will feel great and mean that you can move on to the next thing easily.
Now is the time to get your tongue involved. To stop yourself getting tired quickly, keep your tongue flat when you lick their hole. Pointing your tongue is great for precision but can leave your tongue aching, while the flat tongue lets you cover a bigger area with each lick. Tease them like you would when eating pussy and you’ll hear them moaning in no time!
5. Hygiene is important!
The biggest tip we can offer you is that hygiene is important. You might not think it is a big deal, but once you start working on the ass you need to stick with it… or at least wash your hands and the toys you have been using before switching back to the pussy.
The ass has a lot of bacteria, and no matter how clean it might look, there could be some lurking back there. This means that you could spread their bacteria to their pussy, simply because you have been mixing things up.
Don’t do this, as it will leave your partner with the wrong kind of memories from your experience! If you do want to, clean all toys used thoroughly and give your hands (and face, if you’ve been eating their ass) a wash. This will make sure that your anal play is fun and clean! After all, the cleaner you are the dirtier things can get.
Getting to grips with anal play
Anal play is easy when you know how. The best thing to do is talk to your partner about what they want from it. They might simply want to enjoy a finger or two in their ass, while others hope to prepare themselves for full on anal sex.
Have you tried anal play before? Is it something you enjoy? We want to hear from you, so let us know what you think by leaving a comment in the box below. You can use the comment box to join in the discussion and share your top tips, so what are you waiting for?
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.