When it comes to BDSM, there are usually discussions about what it stands for. I’ve heard tons of variations. Some believe that the D is for discipline, while others think it stands for domination. The S and M might stand for submission and master, or perhaps sadism and masochism. It all depends on your interpretation. But the B never seems to change, and everyone agrees it stands for bondage.
Bondage is one hell of a fun act to try. Whether you are the rigger or the rope bunny, it is an incredible experience. Trust me, it’s one of my favourite things to do. So why does it turn people on, and how can you enjoy it for yourself?
Turned on while tied up
I can’t tell you when I had my first fantasy, but I can tell you what it was about. Yes, you guessed it, it was bondage. I remember being turned on just by thinking about being tied up. The specifics are lost to me, but the idea of restraint was a huge turn on. It was something I was desperate to explore but didn’t feel able to for the longest time.
Why? Because I didn’t trust any of my partners enough. I used to fake orgasms all the time. If I couldn’t trust my partner with that information, how could I trust them to tie me up? What if they kink shamed me? I wasn’t ready to deal with that, so I kept it quiet. That didn’t stop me from fantasising about it though.
So what is it about being tied up that turns me on? It’s a way of totally giving up control to my partner. By being tied up by them, I’m showing that I trust them. The rigger decides how much movement I’m allowed, if I am allowed to move at all, and that is kinky as hell. Having ropes around my wrists or cuffs on my ankles is fun, and it feels sexy.
Safety comes first with bondage!
This really should go without saying, but when it comes to restraints and tying someone up, it is important to stay safe. This means that you need to have a safe word in place. The rigger, or the person doing the tying, should also have the right equipment to hand. Planning is also important to ensure that things go smoothly.
Your safe word can be absolutely anything. Many, like myself, use fruit. I use pineapple, because it isn’t likely you’ll confuse the word with something else. The traffic light system is popular, as you’ll see in the video below. It helps to alert the domme when you are nearing your limits.
You can use household items to tie someone up, such as a dressing gown tie or a pair of tights. However, the proper equipment is often more comfortable and easier to fasten and unfasten. There is no faffing when you want to free your submissive. It’s quick and easy, while still effectively restraining them. Come Curious demonstrate these types of restraints on their channel.
Restraints vs. ropes
There are so many different methods of restraints, as Come Curious touched upon in their video about bondage safety. That said, people tend to think of two in particular. They either think about using specialists restraints, made for purpose, or they think of Shibari rope.
Personally, I am a huge fan of the restraints. They are surprisingly comfortable while also keeping you in your place. You can buy ones which go underneath a bed, so they are there when you need them. You can also get spreaders to keep your sub’s legs apart. They typically fasten with Velcro, making them easy to put on and take off.
Shibari is the term many use for Japanese bondage. You’ll likely have seen the complex rope ties used in porn videos before. It looks gorgeous, and the rope tends to be very soft. However, it takes a lot of dedication to learn the art of tying with Shibari rope. There are certain techniques required, and if you don’t use it in the right way, you could end up hurting your submissive. Use only if you have the correct knowledge!
Want to be tied up?
Trust is so important when it comes to bondage. It took me a long time to find someone I felt comfortable talking to about my fantasy. When I did open up, I discovered that they were knowledgeable about it. They were a rigger, and had a great deal of experience tying someone up.
I doubt my first experience could have been any smoother. I was incredibly lucky to find someone as experienced with it, but not everyone is. This is why I would always suggest speaking to a professional dominatrix if you want to try something new.
They have the knowledge and the experience to give you what you want. It’s their job, so you’ll find you are in no safer hands. Curious to become a rope bunny and put yourself in the hands of a rigger? Take a look at the dominatrixes with a love of bondage and see who appeals to you!
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
- Adding the correct “favourites” to your profile - April 24, 2023
- Common Mistakes Made During Sex And How To Fix Them - April 25, 2019
- Your Hay Fever Could Be Eased By More Sex! - April 2, 2019
Please log in here to leave a comment.