People are put off talking dirty for a number of reasons. They feel as though, once they get started, they won’t be able to stop. They might be convinced that they will cross a line and leave their partner feeling turned off and uncomfortable. Sometimes, they might have had a negative experience trying to talk dirty in the past and they don’t want to repeat it.
The latter applies to me. In my last relationship I whispered into his ear “tell me what you want me to do to you”. His response was less than ideal, as all he said was “that’s weird.” That killed any chance of dirty talk in that relationship, but even if you have had negative experiences in the past, you should try it again in the future. It can make for some of the most incredible sex.
Not sure where to start? Here on the Escort Ireland blog, I have five fantastic dirty talk tips for you to try. You’ll be able to gain confidence and get dirty talk right, leading to some amazing times for you and your partner.
1. Confidence is key!
Even if you have had bad experiences in the past when trying to talk dirty, you should be confident with a new partner. Confidence is incredibly sexy, and if you feel confident when you speak, your partner will feel confident trying this fun and sexy act with you.
There is an old saying: “fake it until you make it”. This is particularly important with dirty talk, as you can often settle your nerves by acting more confident with it. It shows your partner that you know what you are doing, and they’ll be eager to try it with you.
2. Communicate on swearing
For some people, an essential of dirty talk is swearing. For others it is something that they will happily take or leave. For a few, it is something they absolutely cannot stand. Dirty talk doesn’t always have to equal swearing, but you need to know where you and your partner stand before you dive in. Personally, I love a good “I want to fuck you”. It makes it explicitly clear what my partner wants and gets straight to the point. But it isn’t for everyone.
This is why one of the best dirty talk tips you should try to remember is that communication is incredibly important… and not just in reference to things like swearing. If you talk to your partner about what it is that they would love to hear the most, you’ll be able to give them what they want. You won’t cross any lines or upset them by doing this. For example, some are happy to be called “daddy” or a “dirty little slut”, while others hate it. Find where they stand and you’ll find it easier to get into the swing of things.
3. Be descriptive
Sometimes it just isn’t enough to say to your partner “let’s fuck”. They want to hear something more, something to really make their heart race and their pussy wet. They want to have a very vivid image in their head of all of the naughty things you will do to them. The best way to do this? Get descriptive.
No, we aren’t saying that you need to write a novella about how much you want to fuck them. Just don’t be afraid to add details. For example, think about where you want to fuck them. Do you imagine them wearing anything in particular? What position are they in? Even these simple questions can help to build up an image, so “let’s fuck” can become “let’s fuck with you in that black skirt, bent over the desk so I can give it to you from behind”.
4. “I love” and “I want”
For those times when you are really unsure about where to start, it can be useful to have some sentences to get you going. Use phrases like “I love” and “I want” to begin when you really aren’t sure what to say. They might seem simple, but they can easily lead into incredibly dirty conversations.
“I want” allows you to say things like “I want to feel your hands sliding up and down my cock”. “I love” can became “I love it when you moan my name as I lick your clit”. You are being descriptive, as we have said earlier, but you are also showing them what you like and enjoy the most. This will encourage them to do it more, and it will feel amazing for you both.
If you are desperate to get better at talking dirty, there is one very simple thing that you can do. You can practice. Many dirty talk tips will tell you about the things you can say, effectively giving you a script to follow. However, the best way to improve your skills is to try it out for yourself before you get into the bedroom.
You don’t even have to talk dirty to their face. If you want to ease yourself into it, you can use texts. Sexting is the same as face to face dirty talk, except you get a little more time to respond. You can take a moment to think, which will build your confidence as you have the chance to really think about what to say. You’ll find that, in time, it gets so much easier to get dirty.
Our favourite dirty talk tips
Dirty talk is one of those sex acts that some people don’t enjoy, simply because they aren’t sure where to start. They don’t want to get things wrong, but by following my dirty talk tips above, you’ll be able to ease into it and leave your partner wanting more.
Got a few dirty talk tips of your own you’d love to share? Leave a comment in the box below. What phrases get you going when you hear them? What can’t you resist? Share them and take a look at what others have said for some amazing ideas!
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.