What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb!!
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What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb!!
We have two lives , the second begins when we realise we only have one .....
Barney Rubble (31-05-20)
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Random lad came up to me today and said...
Hey, it could be worse! You could be stuck down in an underground pool of water!
Don't know what he was going on about, but I'm sure he meant Well...
Barney Rubble (31-05-20), Mrbean76 (31-05-20), yourehighered (21-08-21)
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You heard the 1 about the dyslexic pimp?Originally Posted by Mrbean76
He bought a warehouse.
Are we there yet ?
beautyaddict (07-06-20), Mrbean76 (31-05-20), whoseyourdaddy (31-05-20), yourehighered (21-08-21)
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You heard about the cowboy who mosied into a saloon wearing paper pants and chaps, cardboard boots, a paper shirt and a straw hat?
Well, they threw his ass in jail for Rustlin'
Barney Rubble (31-05-20), Mrbean76 (31-05-20), yourehighered (21-08-21)
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The madam opened the brothel door in Galway and saw a rather dignified, well dressed man in his late sixties or early seventies.
" May I help you sir?" she asked.
The old man replied. " I want to see Valerie"
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else" said the madam.
He replied." No ,I must see Valerie"
Just then Valarie appeared and announced to the man she charged €10,000 a visit.
Without hesitation the old man pulled out the 10 k , gave it to Valarie and they went upstairs.
After an hour the old man calmly left.
The next night the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valarie.
Valarie explained that no-one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.
" There are no discounts, the price is still €10,000"
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valarie and they went upstairs.
After an hour, he left.
The following night the old man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night but he paid Valarie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valarie said to the old man.
" No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"
The old man replied. " Salthill"
" Really " she said. " I have family in Salthill"
"I know" the old man said.
" Your sister died and I am her solicitor. She asked me to give you your €30,000 inheritance"
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a solicitor!!
We have two lives , the second begins when we realise we only have one .....
Barney Rubble (07-06-20), beautyaddict (09-06-20), yourehighered (21-08-21)
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What do you call a room full of men,angry they've been cheated on? A cluster fuck of flustered cucks.
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Someone got there before you
No pun intended
I mean someone posted that joke already.
Last edited by Mrbean76; 11-06-20 at 20:12.
We have two lives , the second begins when we realise we only have one .....
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I may have posted this myself already!!??
105 year old ladies advice to us all.
"For better digestion I drink beer. Incase of appetite loss I drink white wine. Incase of low blood pressure I drink red wine. Incase of high blood pressure I drink scotch. When in have a cold I drink Schnapps"
" When do you drink water?"
" I've never been that sick!!"
We have two lives , the second begins when we realise we only have one .....
This cracked me up!
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We have two lives , the second begins when we realise we only have one .....
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