This is where a wise man will tell you to get a grip and take it handy and keep in control.........
Well seeing as he hasn't shown up yet I'll throw in my little speak before he does........
It is an addiction, just like any other addiction out there, if your feeling like this already it maybe too late, you maybe fucked. I am afraid there are probably many like you.
By the time I realised I was addicted to my Mistress it was too late, I was totally fucked, no way back only deeper in. Don't get me wrong, I would rather be an Alishaholic than an alcoholic or an Alishaunkie than a junkie or a Alishambler than a gambler.
My form of addiction is known as slavery, no none cure, it can only be kept a bay by "lashings" of servitude.
Hope it all works out, keep us posted and see how you are in 3 months