We all have that deep dark desire we want to try in the bedroom. It is something we long to do, but often don’t know how to go about asking our other half for it. How do you bring up the subject of “I’d really like you to give me a foot job” without having them run away in fear?
There are some very simple things you can do to talk about your ultimate sex fantasy, and each of these things can help you make it happen. We take you through just what you can do to make your sex fantasy a reality.
Have sex
It might sound like a very strange suggestion, but before you try to talk about what you want to happen in the bedroom you should have sex.
The first thing is that having sex will actually relax you both. Getting to orgasm and having that mutual pleasure will ease your stress and anxiety a little, and also allow you to relax enough to talk about what matters to you.
It has also been suggested that people are much more open to talking about things after they have had really satisfying sex. As they are coming down from a high, they will still be eager to talk about all of those sexy and naughty things you want to do.
Start small
One of the worst things you could do when talking to a close-minded partner is to just blurt out what it is you want. “Fuck me with a strap on” might send them running for the hills or searching for a straightjacket to put you in. You have to start off small and cushion the blow.
How do you do this? Think about what it is that you want. For example, if you have realised that you have a foot fetish and wish to explore it, tell them that they look gorgeous in those shoes. From there, you can work your way up.
If you want something a little more difficult to introduce easily into conversation, such as caning by your partner dressed as a school mistress, you might have to think carefully about it. Try steering the conversation towards the teachers you had a crush on in school and pick out something they share with them. Can they pull off the same stern stare that turns you on? Let them know this and they will probably do it for you.
Give them time
If you have talked to them about it and they have acknowledged what you’ve said, don’t start harassing them to do it. They might want a little time to work things out for themselves, or to do research and figure out the best way of giving you want you want.
Instead, give them their space. Let them take that time to mull it over and work out the finer details. They might be perfectly happy researching on their own and coming up with a plan to surprise and please you.
If they do approach you to talk some more about it, don’t push them into anything. Again, give them their time. Let them do what they want to do and tell them what feels good for you and what doesn’t work. It will help massively in the long run.
Safe words!
When it does come down to you getting your sexual fantasy, whether you want to be beaten for being a naughty slave or you hope to make your partner squirt all over your face, you should be setting up a safe word before you get down to it.
While safe words are typically associated with BDSM, it is a good idea to arrange one for your fantasy night. That way, if you or your partner needs to take a break for whatever reason, you can just by saying the word.
It isn’t just for the person receiving the attention – it can also be for the one delivering it. If at any point your partner wants to take a break because they are feeling uncomfortable, they can use the word… but remember to respect it. If you cannot respect the use of the safe word, you probably won’t get the chance to try out your fantasy with them again.
Have fun!
The best thing you can do when it comes to your sexy deep dark fantasy is to just have fun. Sex isn’t supposed to be serious. You are supposed to enjoy yourself and have fun with it, so if at any point you realise it isn’t what you want, stop it.
If, however, you find yourself loving it, make this clear to your partner. Show them how much you are enjoying what you’re doing and this will let them know they are doing a good job. When they see you happy, they will want to do it over and over again.
What is your ultimate fantasy? Have you managed to achieve it, or are you still hoping to find the right person to help you? Let us know on the Escort Ireland forum, or by leaving a comment in the box below. You might even have some tips to share with other clients on how to talk about your sexy fantasy with your partner, or what they can do to make their fantasy even better than before!
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
- Adding the correct “favourites” to your profile - April 24, 2023
- Common Mistakes Made During Sex And How To Fix Them - April 25, 2019
- Your Hay Fever Could Be Eased By More Sex! - April 2, 2019
Please log in here to leave a comment.